Maybe I will be happy…

Kalu texted me today…

For ten years  I had always wanted him to text me first instead I did so. So I stopped a long time ago. His monosyllabic responses to my former texts do not match the long message he left me today.

But I am not happy…

I would tell him what I always wanted to tell him. 

I would tell him that I loved him for so long but he pretended not to know. 

I would tell him that I always visited the aboki’s shop in front of his house just to see him. 

I would tell him I used his name as my signature. I would tell him that I had fixed his surname to my name sometimes when lying to strangers. 

And I would tell him that on the day I summoned courage to enter his house, his friends forcefully took the part of me I was keeping for him.

I would tell him all I felt for him was dead.

Maybe I will happy after. Maybe.